Grief - The greatest sadness or biggest opportunity for change? Part 1
According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, 1882 children (under the age of 15) died in 2002. Just imagine how many grieving relatives this leaves behind each year.
What is Grief?
Grief has different meanings for different people depending on your experience of it. It’s not just a series of events or stages or timelines – it’s actually the natural process associated with death and dying. Unfortunately, our society puts a great deal of pressure on us to get over our loss, to get through the grief quickly and with a minimum of fuss.
The important thing to understand about grief is that it is part of the human experience. For all of us who have lost someone close, our experience of grief is as real and as unique as the person we lost. People think they want to avoid the grief – in reality it is the pain of loss that we really want to avoid. The feeling of loss is inevitable because someone we loved and had a deep bond with is no longer physically here. Grief is the healing process that will eventually bring comfort to our pain.
My own personal grief
My experience with grief started at an early age and as I sit here now, writing this article, the tears well up as the pictures come flooding back. As you read this, the memories of your loss may start rising up to the surface for you too and that’s a good thing because it means a little bit more of the pain is being released and you are healing.
In October 2005 it was three years since my daughter Isabella passed away - she was only 13 1/2 months old. In some ways it seems like only last week that she was still here and in other ways, it seems like a lifetime ago.
During this time there were days when I was sad beyond anything I could have imagined – I just wanted Isabella back and I couldn’t understand why this had happened to me. I’ve spent a lot of time reading – about health, death and everything in between. I’ve been to bereavement groups and I’ve talked to counselors. I searched for anything that would increase my understanding of all these events and take away the enormous sadness and pain that I felt.
I look back on everything that has happened, from Isabella first becoming un-well, to her unexpected death, and the events that have taken place since then, and I realise how much I have changed and grown.
Where does your journey begin?
When you begin your own journey through grief, you may consider counseling and/or be-reavement groups. Counseling and bereavement groups are beneficial in that they provide a safe environment to express the pain of loss in the early days. For some, this form of therapy is exactly what is needed to pass through the various stages of grief. For others, talking to a counselor or to a group of bereaved parents isn’t enough. If that is the case – where do you go?
Other common suggestions for self care during the grieving process include:
Continue to Part 2
What is Grief?
Grief has different meanings for different people depending on your experience of it. It’s not just a series of events or stages or timelines – it’s actually the natural process associated with death and dying. Unfortunately, our society puts a great deal of pressure on us to get over our loss, to get through the grief quickly and with a minimum of fuss.
The important thing to understand about grief is that it is part of the human experience. For all of us who have lost someone close, our experience of grief is as real and as unique as the person we lost. People think they want to avoid the grief – in reality it is the pain of loss that we really want to avoid. The feeling of loss is inevitable because someone we loved and had a deep bond with is no longer physically here. Grief is the healing process that will eventually bring comfort to our pain.
My own personal grief
My experience with grief started at an early age and as I sit here now, writing this article, the tears well up as the pictures come flooding back. As you read this, the memories of your loss may start rising up to the surface for you too and that’s a good thing because it means a little bit more of the pain is being released and you are healing.
In October 2005 it was three years since my daughter Isabella passed away - she was only 13 1/2 months old. In some ways it seems like only last week that she was still here and in other ways, it seems like a lifetime ago.
During this time there were days when I was sad beyond anything I could have imagined – I just wanted Isabella back and I couldn’t understand why this had happened to me. I’ve spent a lot of time reading – about health, death and everything in between. I’ve been to bereavement groups and I’ve talked to counselors. I searched for anything that would increase my understanding of all these events and take away the enormous sadness and pain that I felt.
I look back on everything that has happened, from Isabella first becoming un-well, to her unexpected death, and the events that have taken place since then, and I realise how much I have changed and grown.
Where does your journey begin?
When you begin your own journey through grief, you may consider counseling and/or be-reavement groups. Counseling and bereavement groups are beneficial in that they provide a safe environment to express the pain of loss in the early days. For some, this form of therapy is exactly what is needed to pass through the various stages of grief. For others, talking to a counselor or to a group of bereaved parents isn’t enough. If that is the case – where do you go?
Other common suggestions for self care during the grieving process include:
- Journaling – writing can sometimes provide an outlet for strong feelings rather than keeping them bottled up inside;
- Reading and learning about death and the grief process;
- Eating well, exercising and resting – provides you with nutrients, stress relief and replenishment;
- Allowing yourself time and space to experience your emotions – they may be painful but they will allow you to progress through your grieving; and
- Avoiding major changes – e.g. moving house, changing jobs or changes to your marital status – these can add to the burden of grief.
Continue to Part 2
posted by Helena Denley at 3:57 pm
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home